


"Baby" (Unfinished)

by Othersideofdark



Series: Harry & Louis [14]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Car Accidents, Hospitalization, M/M, i gotta stop writing hospital kinks, im so sorry for this one, oh no, the worst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-10-27 21:52:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17774876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Othersideofdark/pseuds/Othersideofdark
Summary: I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH THIS ONE AND IM SO SORRY AHHHHIt like, makes me upset to read, I don't know why I started writing it in the first place. First of all, such a general idea to write. Second of all, it's upsetting!!! I honestly have no idea why I started this or wrote half of it but at least I won't suffer alone anymore :))))))))))-----Louis couldn’t stop shaking. His hands were still braced on the steering wheel, his head so erratic that he was struggling to remember the drive here, let alone the instructions he was given over the phone.He knew he had to wait though, and it was slowly killing him.





	1. Chapter 1

  
A knock on the car window startled him, his eyes bugged out as he turned and saw Harry’s manager looking at him to unlock his door. Louis shakily did it, resting his hands in his lap as the door was opened.  
  
Louis had only met Harry manager a few times, the man always polite and funny enough that Louis didn’t hate him.  
  
“He’s going to be okay, he’s banged up but out of surgery now,” Harry’s manager said, Louis looking over to him with tears in his eyes.  
  
“Jeff, he’s, he’s every-,” Louis couldn’t even finish his sentence as his sobs popped out of his mouth, everything rushing at him way too fast, the sight of the hospital parking lot and the inside of the car blurring, Jeff’s hand on his arm the only thing grounding him.  
  
“I know, he’s everything for you, and you’re everything for him and we’re all going to get through this, okay?” Jeff said, Louis nodding to him as he tried to pull himself together.  
  
Louis took some breaths and calmed down his initial wave of emotions, wiping at his eyes and trying to calm his heart rate from pounding.  
  
“I’m not going to lie, he looks really bad. The other car hit his door directly, but thankfully the Range Rover had side airbags that protected him a lot, but he’s still pretty injured.”  
  
Louis nodded, listening and staring down at his hands.  
  
“Would you like to know his injuries?” Jeff asked softly, Louis nodding.  
  
“Okay, it’s a lot so it’s okay to be overwhelmed,” Jeff said, placing a hand down on Louis’ thigh, “his left upper arm was shattered, they’ve already put a rod in, about six of his left ribs were broken and three fractured, and his lung was punctured, but not enough for surgery on it. His left hip and thigh are severely bruised but the xrays are all fine on them. His right hip is bruised from the seatbelt as well. He probably got the airbag to the left side of his face so he’s swollen but nothings broken, but his neck ligaments are stretched quite badly. They’re not sure about concussion status but there doesn’t look to be any brain swelling which is a good sign.”  
  
Louis nodded as silence filled the car, tears dripping down Louis’ face and snot running out of his nose.  
  
“There’s a lot of tubes and wires and he’s on a ventilator and has a neck brace on, but whenever you’re ready we can go in and see him,” Jeff said, rubbing Louis’ knee and he nodded again, trying to process everything that was happening. He was still trying to get in his head that Harry was in a car accident and someone else hit him and that he’s bruised and broken and just that Louis’ whole world was physically shattered right now.  
  
“Okay, I’m okay,” Louis said, wiping some of his tears before reaching for a Kleenex box in the back, immediately grabbing two Kleenex’s and blowing his wet, sloppy nose. He tossed the Kleenex in the console and immediately went for two more, sniffling as he wiped his face dry, trying to hold in all the unshed tears.  
  
“I know it’s a lot, he has a mountain to climb but he’s a tough cookie and he has tons of support,” Jeff said, ever the optimist.  
  
“Mhmm, thank you,” Louis said, his head full and he hadn’t even seen Harry yet, only knew the words that surrounded him.  
  
“I’m right here for whatever you need,” Jeff said, Louis nodding and reaching for his door handle.  
  
“We have a back door ready, we won’t see anyone else except the nurses and doctors,” Jeff said as Louis rounded the car, hunching his shoulders in even as the summer humidity wrapped around him.  
  
“Okay,” Louis said, following Jeff into the hospital, the smell of it making his hairs stand on end. Last time he was in here, Harry was in his arms, and Louis would give everything to go back.  
  
“Take your time,” Jeff said as they stopped at an open door, the silence and quiet such a contrast to Louis’ feelings.  
  
Louis took gentle steps into the room, immediately crying as all the words turned into reality, Harry’s body laying unconscious in the hospital bed, the nurses not even bothering with a hospital gown because Harry was so bruised up. His entire left arm was bandaged up as well as his ribs, his right arm covered in IV’s and wires placed across his torso. His head was being held straight by his neck brace, his ventilator tube taped to the side of his mouth, breathing for him. A blanket was over his legs, but Louis could still see the bruising of his hips poking out above it.  
  
“Easy, you’re okay,” Jeff said as Louis shook uncontrollably, holding the back of his hand to his mouth as his sobbing began, Jeff grabbing his waist as knees got weak under him.  
  
“Easy, easy, let’s have a sit,” Jeff said, guiding Louis to a chair and sitting him in it, kneeling on a knee as Louis cried out.  
  
Louis couldn’t handle it as he sat, eyes scanning Harry over and over again, Jeff letting him sob and cry out, getting the Kleenex box from the nightstand and wiping Louis’ face up but keeping quiet as well.  
  
“He’s my baby,” Louis said a few minutes later, his voice wet with tears as Jeff nodded.  
  
“I know, he still is, don’t you worry, he’s still your baby,” Jeff said, getting new Kleenex’s as he tried to keep up with Louis’ tears.  
  
“Hi, sorry,” a nurse said as she walked in, checking on Harry’s medications.  
  
“Don’t be afraid to touch and talk to him, he’s very stable right now,” the nurse said to Jeff with a sad smile before leaving the room.  
  
“Did you hear that? You can touch and talk to him,” Jeff said, rubbing Louis’ knee, “come, let’s scooch a little closer.”  
  
Jeff helped Louis move the chair closer to the bed, Louis still crying but tentatively reaching over the bedguard, taking Harry’s hand in his own.  
  
“Hi baby,” Louis whispered as he stared at Harry’s sleeping face, taking in his swollen jaw and the bruising that coloured his hairline.  
  
“Knock knock,” a man said quietly from the doorway, a polite smile on his face and a file in his hands, Louis connecting that he was probably a doctor.  
  
“I’m doctor Bentley, I did Harry’s surgery,” the doctor said, Jeff standing up.  
  
“Hi, I’m Jeff, Harry’s manager and this is Louis, his boyfriend,” Jeff said, Louis silently thanking him for introducing both of them.  
  
“It’s nice to meet you, even under the circumstances,” Dr. Bentley said.  
  
“So we’ve patched him up and put a rod in his arm because the bone was so shattered we couldn’t save it,” Dr. Bentley said, “we’re hoping to avoid anything with the lung, we can see on his xrays that it hasn’t collapsed badly, but we have to keep a close eye on it to see what it decides to do.”  
  
“We’re going to keep him asleep for the night, let him get some solid rest for now, and move him up to the ICU. He’ll be kept on the ventilator so even when he does wake up we’ll have to keep him heavily sedated for tolerance reasons, plus he’s on heavy pain medication which will make him sleepy as well.”  
  
“Before he’s taken off the sedative he’ll have a feeding tube inserted too, but we’ll let them do that upstairs when they’re ready. It’s really just time after that, letting him heal up and get moving again, he’ll be in physio and anything else he needs,” Dr. Bentley finished.  
  
Louis heard Jeff say ‘thank you’ and be told that Harry would be moved soon, but didn’t bother to say anything as the doctor left, too overwhelmed to react anymore.  
  
“I just have to make a few phone calls, I’ll just be in the hall,” Jeff said to Louis, squeezing his shoulder and leaving Louis alone with Harry.  
  
“I love you so much love,” Louis whispered as he traced his fingers on Harry’s palm, tears rolling down his cheeks as he sat there.  
  
“Hey, they’re just going to transfer him upstairs now, we can make our way there,” Jeff said a few minutes later, Louis squeezing Harry’s hand one last time before getting up and walking into Jeff’s open arm, letting himself be huddled there.  
  
“I’m sorry this must be hard for you too,” Louis said as Jeff guided him into an elevator, already knowing the way.  
  
“It is, not going to lie, it’s an awful phone call to receive and it’s awful having to call everyone else, but I’d do it a million times if I had to.”  
  
“Thank you, for doing that,” Louis said as the elevator dinged and Jeff walked him to a sitting area, Louis doing his best to calm himself down as Jeff talked to the receptionist.  
  
“She’ll tell us when it’s okay to go in,” Jeff said as he sat beside Louis, getting a nod in return.  
  
Half an hour later, Louis felt calmer and the receptionist was calling them, leading them to a quiet room within the ICU, a nurse working right outside Harry’s door and keeping an eye on him.  
  
“His overnight nurse is Lucy and his doctor is doctor Bell while he’s up here, he might not be around till his morning rounds though, so don’t be worried if you don’t see him tonight,” the receptionist said, leaving the room once Jeff thanked her.  
  
“Relax, we’ll probably be here for a while,” Jeff said as he got a chair and sat Louis beside Harry again, placing him so Louis could touch Harry whenever he wanted to.  
  
“Hi, I’m Lucy,” Harry’s nurse said quietly as she came in, changing one of Harry’s medication bags.  
  
“I’m here till eight am if you need anything, and Mary’s in tomorrow for the day,” Lucy said with an easy smile, checking Harry over to make sure he was comfortable.  
  
“I’m Jeff and this is Louis,” Jeff said, Lucy looking at them.  
  
“It’s nice to meet you,” she said, “I’ll just be outside, make yourselves comfortable, try and get some sleep overnight.”  
  
 —  
  
“Here,” Jeff said as he passed Louis a coffee the next morning, knowing that Louis was feeling the fatigue as much as he was, if not more. He took a sip of his own coffee as the doctor walked in, Lucy leaning on the doorway.  
  
“Hi, I’m doctor Bell, I’m presiding over the ICU,” the doctor said as he shook both Jeff’s and Louis’ hands.  
  
“I’m just going to have a look and then we’ll put a feeding tube in and let him wake up slowly,” Dr. Bell said, looking at Harry’s bruises and wounds, checking him over.  
  
“Okay, I don’t really have any news, the ER did all they could and I don’t feel anything new, so that’s good.”  
  
“We’ll just get this tube in,” Dr. Bell said, Lucy bringing in another machine and a tray, passing it to Dr. Bell before hooking the machine to one of Harry’s IV poles.  
  
Dr. Bell took the gloves from the tray and slid them on before picking the tube up, measuring it against Harry before lubing the end and pressing it into Harry’s nose. He fed it down until he hit his desired measurement, connecting a syringe afterwards and pulling up some liquid.  
  
“I’m just gunna go, for a bit?” Jeff said, making Louis look at him, releasing that maybe it wasn’t normal to watch someone get tubes put in them.  
  
“Oh, yeah, yeah go take some time, I’ll be fine,” Louis said, “thank you for the coffee.”  
  
Jeff nodded his head before stepping out of the room, softly clicking the door shut.  
  
“You stomach this well,” Dr. Bell said, eyes flicking to Louis as he pH tested the liquid in the syringe.  
  
“I- yeah,” Louis said with a shrug, watching the feeding tube get taped to Harry’s nose and hooked up into the primed pump machine, Lucy turning it on.  
  
“Okay, let’s cut the sedative down, let him wake up nice and slow,” Dr. Bell said, Lucy adjusting the IV accordingly.  
  
“How long does it take?” Louis asked.  
  
“Around two to five minutes, he’ll be really out of it though, don’t expect too much,” Dr. Bell said as he sat the bed up slightly, making it less disorienting for Harry.  
  
“Of course.”  
  
Everyone quietly waited as Harry’s body slowly dissipated the medication, Dr. Bell gently rubbing Harry’s forearm as Harry’s eyes fluttered.  
  
“Hi, can you give my hand a squeeze?” Dr. Bell asked, fitting his fingers into Harry’s limp hand, Harry ever so gently reacting and squeezing his hand.  
  
“Good, you have a tube down your throat so I don’t want you to try and talk or anything, just stay relaxed and let your eyes open.”  
  
“Hi, you’re doing good,” Dr. Bell said as Harry looked up to him, eyes unfocused and slowly blinking.  
  
“Yeah, you have a lot of medication in you, you’ll feel groggy,” Dr. Bell said as Harry’s eyes shut for a few seconds till he was opening them again, a slight frown on his face.  
  
“Oop,” Dr. Bell said as Harry looked up to him and promptly threw up, the thick, white liquid of his tube feeding covering his chin and dripping down onto his neck brace with little force, his body limp with the action.  
  
“It’s okay, it happens, we can clean you up,” Dr. Bell said as tears started dripping down Harry’s temples, Lucy heading out to get supplies.  
  
“Is it dairy based?” Louis asked, Harry immediately grabbing onto the bed guard, trying to find him.  
  
“Shhh, relax,” Dr. Bell said, locating Harry’s sedative and turning it up slightly.  
  
“Yeah, is he not going to tolerate that?”  
  
“Probably not, he struggles with dairy in general,” Louis said, staying out of the way as Lucy came back and began wiping Harry up, Dr. Bell turning and stopping the feed.  
  
“I’m just going to grab a different feed and some gravol,” Dr. Bell said to Lucy.  
  
“Can you grab a clean brace as well? This one is going to need a wash,” Lucy said, Dr. Bell nodding and heading out of the room.  
  
“Sorry, I know it’s unpleasant,” Lucy said as she took Harry’s neck brace off and started wiping up his neck, Harry back to being limp on the mattress.  
  
“I’m just going to get in your mouth,” Lucy warned before sticking her paper towel into Harry’s mouth, wiping up as much throw up as she could.  
  
“Okay, how about we try some gravol and something with no dairy in it, hopefully that’ll stay down,” Dr. Bell said as he came back, Louis watching him set up the gravol and connect it into an IV before switching the feed containers and starting the pump again. Lucy finished cleaning Harry up and slipped him into another neck brace, cleaning up the items on the bed afterwards.  
  
“Such a commotion to have right after waking up, isn’t it?” Dr. Bell said, Harry knocking his hand along the bed guard, too groggy to get it over.  
  
“I’m right here love, you’re okay,” Louis said, standing up and taking Harry’s hand, putting himself so Harry could see him.  
  
“Hi,” Louis said, Harry squeezing his hand in response.  
  
“Yeah, I’m right here, always baby,” Louis said as he wiped his thumb under Harry’s eyes, clearing away his sleep and tears.  
  
“Can you wiggle your toes for me?” Dr. Bell said then, Harry slowly registering before scrunching his toes up at the end of the bed.  
  
“Good, any pain?”  
  
Harry gently shook his head ‘no’ as much as he could, Dr. Bell rubbing his forearm.  
  
“That’s good, I’m going to leave you for a bit, I’ll pop in later,” Dr. Bell said, smiling before slipping out the door.  
  
“Hey, this is Mary, she’s going to be your nurse for the day and I’ll see you tonight, okay?” Lucy said from the doorway, Louis saying ‘hello’ to the new nurse.  
  
“He seems settled so I’m just going to be out here for a little,” Mary said, Louis nodding his head, eyes shifting to Jeff coming back to the room.  
  
“Hey, looks who’s awake,” Jeff said, smiling at Harry.  
  
“Yeah, we had a little throw up but it’s better now, got some drugs and got different feed.”  
  
“That’s good, you comfortable?”  
  
Harry nodded, looking sleepy but keeping his eyes trained on Jeff.  
  
“That’s what we want, comfortable and chill, everything’s taken care of.”  
  
“What? No Netflix and chill?” Louis said with a smile, Harry’s eyes flicking to him and squeezing his hand.  
  
“You think that’s funny, don’t you?” Louis asked, Harry nodding his head, Jeff chuckling at them.  
  
“Speaking of funny, there’s a few people here for you, including a certain Irishman, would you mind if I sent him in?” Jeff asked, Harry shaking his head.  
  
“Okay, I’ll go get him,” Jeff said, leaving Louis and Harry in the quiet.  
  
“Don’t worry, we’ll get through this,” Louis said, kissing at Harry’s knuckles.  
  
—  
  
“Thanks for everything,” Louis said to Jeff at the end of the day, Harry dosing.  
  
“Don’t mention it, you sure you’ll be okay overnight?” Jeff asked.  
  
“Yep, I’ll pop home tomorrow when there’s more people around,” Louis said, Jeff shrugging but heading home anyways.  
  
“A lot of people love you, don’t they?” Louis said, thinking of the stream of people he saw during the day, Harry mostly sleeping through it and only catching two or three people.  
  
Harry blinked slowly, Louis smiling at him.  
  
“If you’re tired it’s okay to sleep, I don’t think there doing anything else today,” Louis said, pulling his chair close and playing with Harry’s hair.  
  
“Good evening,” Lucy said as she poked her head into the room, Louis looking to her.  
  
“Good evening.”  
  
“Heard you had a busy day,” Lucy said with a smile.  
  
“Just busy with people, word isn’t officially out yet but there’s enough who need to know,” Louis said, watching and Lucy stepped into the room and began checking over all of Harry’s medications.  
  
“Yeah, thankfully it sounds like everyone was pretty quiet and that you’re a pretty good sleeper,” Lucy said, Harry looking up at her as he was addressed, mildly shrugging his good shoulder.  
  
“Your xrays are looking good too, hopefully we can get you off the ventilator soon, won’t have to be so sedated then.”  
  
“That’ll be nice, won’t it?” Louis said, Harry nodding as his eyes drooped, his hair being played with making him begin to drift off.  
  
“Sleep, you’re all safe,” Louis whispered, Harry closing his eyes.  
  
“I know seatbelts save lives but sometimes the bruising they cause is just, it’s painful to look at,” Lucy said as she checked under Harry’s blanket.  
  
“I haven’t really looked yet,” Louis said, Lucy folding the blanket back, revealing Harry’s black and blue hips, a straight line across his pelvis from where the seatbelt had jammed him back into his seat.  
  
“And it didn’t break anything?”  
  
“No, his pelvic xrays are all perfect, he’s just very, very bruised. Hopefully nothing comes of it and it all just dissipates, but we’ll just have to wait on that,” Lucy said as she covered Harry back up, Louis nodding.  
  
“Can always play the waiting game.”  
  
—  
  
“Someone’s looking brighter today,” Dr. Bell said the next morning, Harry’s sedation being reduced early in the morning.  
  
“Good night?”  
  
“It was quiet,” Louis said, watching as Dr. Bell undid Harry’s neck brace and felt along his neck.  
  
“I don’t feel any tears but we’re going to keep this on so all those pulled tendons can have some support, okay? I know it’s uncomfortable.”  
  
Harry frowned as he got velcroed back into the brace, Dr. Bell continuing to check him over.  
  
“Yeah, this bruising is quite swollen, maybe we’ll give that an ultrasound later and change your bandages up, make sure that’s all okay.”  
  
“No pain?” Dr. Bell asked, Harry shaking his head ‘no’.  
  
“Good, we don’t want any, okay? You’re on really good pain medication but if anything hurts you let us know.”  
  
Harry nodded his head, the feeling of his breathing tube moving causing him to reach his hand up to his mouth.  
  
“Don’t touch love,” Louis said.  
  
“It’s okay, as long as he doesn’t pull,” Dr. Bell said quietly, “it’s just your ventilator tube, nothing scary.”  
  
“Here, you can feel,” Dr. Bell said as he took Harry’s hand and helped him trace along the tubing to his mouth, “it’s helping you breathe right now, cause it’s a little hard for you at the moment.”  
  
He helped Harry trace along to his feeding tube as well.  
  
“That’s helping you eat, cause with the ventilator in your mouth you can’t eat anything, so this goes right to your stomach so you can have some food still,” Dr. Bell said, Harry blinking at him, “I know it’s kinda weird and scary but I promise we do it all the time and you’ll be off of it before you know it, back to your regular self and outta here.”  
  
Harry nodded in response and let the doctor put his hand back down beside him.  
  
“The xray team should be in shortly, and I’ll be back to ultrasound your bruises and check under your bandages, okay? Have some quiet time,” Dr. Bell said before leaving the room.  
  
“He’s nice, isn’t he?” Louis said, tracing his fingers along Harry’s palm. Harry looked to him as much as he could, lifting his hand and brushing it against Louis’ cheek, Louis pressing a kiss to his fingers.  
  
“I love you baby,” Louis whispered, looking up as he heard a little knock on the door.  
  
“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt.”  
  
“Hey, no, it’s okay,” Louis said as Dr. Gray stood in the doorway, “It’s nice to see you.”  
  
“Yeah, I wish it wasn’t under such circumstances though, getting your file from the ER isn’t something I want to see,” Dr. Gray said as he came into the room, rubbing the top of Harry’s foot.  
  
“Yeah getting the phone call wasn’t much fun either,” Louis said.  
  
“I bet, I won’t keep you for very long, I’m just on break and thought I’d drop in, bring you a little something.”  
  
Dr. Gray smiled as he held up a teddy bear, Louis smiling and looking to Harry, who had tears dripping down his cheeks.  
  
“Aww baby, do you like it?” Louis asked, Harry nodding as Dr. Gray walked up the side of the bed and gave it to him, wiping away his tears.  
  
“Shhh, you’ll be okay, I’ll take the tears as a ‘thank you’.”  
  
“I have to go but I’m here for the next couple of days so I’ll drop by again, okay? Get better and give teddy lots of cuddles,” Dr. Gray said with a smile, patting Louis’ shoulder before heading back to his own work.  
  
“Relax, don’t wear yourself out love, I know it’s emotional,” Louis said as he got Harry to calm down, letting him dose off again.  
  
—  
  
“Have we gained a teddy?” Dr. Bell said as he came back, ultrasound machine with him as well as Mary who had a tray of fresh bandages with her.  
  
“Very cute,” Mary said, “keep a good cuddle on him, hopefully this won’t hurt too much.”  
  
“I’m going to ultrasound your hips while Mary takes your bandages off, okay? Or would you rather we do one thing at a time?”  
  
Harry shook his head ‘no’ in response, wanting things to go quickly instead of slowly.  
  
“Do you want it done and over with?” Louis asked, Harry’s nodding.  
  
“I don’t blame you, I think I would as well,” Dr. Bell saying as he moved Harry’s blanket and squirted a gel across his hips, Mary starting in on taking his arm bandage off.  
  
“Oh good they stapled it,” Mary said as she revealed Harry’s cut skin, staples holding it together all the way down his upper arm.  
  
“Doesn’t look too bad?” Dr. Bell asked.  
  
“Nope, it’s bled out a bit but looks like just a cleaning and rebandage.”  
  
“Good, I have some deep spots in this bruising but nothing’s solidified into anything yet, we’ll have to keep tabs on it the next couple of days.”  
  
“Doesn’t bruising just fade?” Louis asked, rubbing the back of Harry’s fingers as he gripped onto his teddy.  
  
“Sometimes it forms a pocket instead and we have to drain them unfortunately,” Dr. Bell said as he double checked Harry’s hips.  
  
“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Mary was suddenly saying, Harry flinching and gasping as she pulled on a tender piece of gauze, Harry’s ventilator beeping because of it.  
  
“It’s okay, nothings wrong, he’s just tripped the manual trigger, it’s actually a good sign,” Dr. Bell said as Louis worriedly looked at him.  
  
“So he’s breathing on his own now?”  
  
“He triggers when the ventilator cycles, it senses when he’s taking a breath and stills assists him, and if he stops it’ll go back to cycling on its own timers,” Dr. Bell explained, “so in a way, yes, he is breathing on his own, just through the ventilator.”  
  
“And if you keep up with it you’ll be off the ventilator in no time.”  
  
“Shhhh baby, it’s okay, you’re okay,” Louis said as Harry started to cry, Dr. Bell wiping his hips up and covering him.  
  
“Relax Harry, everything’s okay,” Dr. Bell said as Harry started to get upset, the pain from his side overwhelming even as Mary stopped pulling on his bandage.  
  
“I’m just going to give him some more pain medication and sedative, I don’t want him tensing up,” Dr. Bell said, Harry grabbing at Louis as he heard the words, Louis cooing to him.  
  
“I know, you have to relax baby, I know you don’t like it but you’ll hurt more if you’re tense,” Louis told him, stroking his temple as medication hit his system, calming him down in Louis’ arms.  
  
“I know sweetie, I know you’re exhausted and in pain, but the medications help with that.”  
  
“Just relax Harry, we’re going to get this bandage off and clean it a bit, we know it hurts,” Dr. Bell said as he touched Harry’s shoulder, watching Mary gingerly untape Harry’s bandage.  
  
“It’s almost off,” Mary said as she pulled the bandage off of Harry’s side, Harry closing his eyes at the pain.  
  
“There we go, it’s all off, I won’t pull anymore,” Mary said, Louis soothing Harry as he cried from it.  
  
“I’m going to clean up your arm a bit and rebandage it, I’ll let your side relax for a bit,” Mary said as Dr. Bell got on gloves as well, helping Mary clean up Harry’s staples and tape a neat bandage over them. Louis sat and whispered sweet nothings to Harry as his medication kept him loose, taking some of the edge from his pain and calming his heartbeat on the monitor.  
  
“Sorry in advance, we’re just going to rinse your side with some antiseptic and it’s going to be really tender. I promise the antiseptic doesn’t sting or anything but the scrape itself isn’t going to be happy, okay? Just focus on cuddling teddy and trying to relax, calm even breaths for me,” Dr. Bell said as an absorbent bed liner was stuffed under Harry’s side, and his arm tucked out of the way. Harry flinched as the antiseptic was poured along his side, running down over his scrape marks. Louis kept telling him how good he is and rubbing different patches of free skin while Harry cried and gripped his teddy.  
  
“There we go, all cleaned up,” Mary said as she finished, “You did so well, I know it’s painful.”  
  
Mary let Harry’s wound sit as she measured out a new bandage, Dr. Bell helping keep it neat.  
  
“I’m going to put some gentle numbing solution on the gauze to hopefully help calm everything down, okay? It’ll last a good long while and let everything calm down,” Mary said as she wiped below Harry’s scrapes with the bedliner, tossing it away. She taped the bandage under Harry before wetting it with numbing solution, Dr. Bell helping her tape the bandage up onto Harry’s side. Harry was in pain as the bandage touched him but the numbing solution helped fade the burn, the bandage taped to his skin.  
  
“There, we’re all done, all cleaned up for a couple days,” Dr. Bell said, Harry melting into the bed at the words. His eyes were shut no less than a minute later, exhausted from the pain.  
  
“It’s good that he just sleeps, let’s his body heal up.”  
  
“How does he look?”  
  
“His arm looks great, his side is a mash of scrapes though, his skin was just torn away. It looks very very irritated but it doesn’t look infected or overly dirty, just so incredibly tender for him,” Dr. Bell said as Mary cleaned up around him and went to fill out her paperwork.  
  
“Mary’s really good though, she’s a wound specialist and really gets people comfortable and heals them up quick,” Dr. Bell said, placing Harry’s limp arm down beside him again.  
  
“Physio’s going to come tomorrow and check him, probably ultrasound his neck and figure out a plan to get him up and moving again, get some blood flow back,” Dr. Bell said as he checked Harry’s monitors one last time, Louis nodding and feeling a wave of tiredness come over himself, Dr. Bell smiling and slipping out of the room as Louis leaned back in his chair.  
  
“Hey, Lou.”  
  
Louis mumbled as he woke up, looking up to see Jeff smiling down at him.  
  
“You should take a trip home, get a proper nap in,” Jeff said, Louis leaning forward and rubbing his eyes with a sigh.  
  
“Yeah, I probably should,” Louis said, Jeff placing a hand on his shoulder.  
  
“Harry’s mum is here, let’s go get her and get you home.”  
  
—  
  
Louis was exhausted.  
  
He didn’t care that he couldn’t remember how long he had been sat in the shower or that he was running the hot water out. He was tired and overwhelmed and the shower tiles were the only ones who understood. Another broken sob escaped from his mouth, mixing in with the shower spray, his emotions overflowing and exhausting him.  
  
Louis hit the shower handle as soon as the hot water did run out, the cold spray making him shiver against the tiles.  
  
“Get up, you’re not the one who got t-boned,” Louis said to himself as he got up from the shower, lazily drying himself off before dropping the towel on the bathroom floor and beelining for the bed, falling face first into it before promptly passing out.  
  
—  
  
“Wha?” Louis said as his screaming ringtone woke him up hours later, his disoriented head finding his phone on the nightstand and picking it up.  
  
“Hello?”  
  
“Hey, It’s Jeff, I’m just going to bring Harry’s mum back to mine, Harry’s asleep but if you want to come back he’s all yours,” Jeff said, Louis’ brain a jumbled mess.  
  
“He’ll probably just sleep through the night if you want to stay home though.”  
  
“No,” Louis said to that, hating the thought that Harry would be alone in a hospital ICU, no, Louis would not have that.  
  
“I just have a few things to get and I’ll go back,” Louis said, getting his cranky body to stretch out it’s kinks as he sat on the bed.  
  
“Okay, don’t outdo yourself,” Jeff said, thankfully not arguing.  
  
“Have a good night,” Louis said, possibly a little cranky as he ended the call, just catching Jeff saying goodnight back, not missing the sound of him smiling through the phone.  
  
Louis rolled his eyes before he rubbed his face and yawned, shaking away his sleep, because being in a chart topping boyband for five years just forced you to learn how to run on no sleep.  
  
“Okay, clothes and Harry’s things,” Louis said to himself before he was up, walking around the house collecting what he needed and packing it into a backpack, snapping Honey into the front seat of the car because he could, heading back to the hospital.  
  
“Good evening,” Lucy said as he approached Harry’s room, “heard he had a bit of a tough day, he’s pretty exhausted.”  
  
“Yeah, changing his bandages was pretty painful for him, I just hope he got to see him mum for a little while.”  
  
“I think he was awake for about ten minutes with her, he was pretty emotional about seeing her and it’s of course hard for a mum to see their child hurt, so it was a lot,” Lucy said, Louis nodding along.  
  
“His temperatures come down a bit, which is good, gave him a blanket a bit ago and he woke up a little, seemed quite content to be tucked in.”  
  
“I bet, he can be very cuddly sometimes,” Louis said, internally smirking because he was pretty sure it was Harry’s second choice under being naked.  

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone keeps saying that this is their favourite so i wrote a little more of it today, and it's not really great but i don't think I'm going for great anymore anyways, so. ta da! lol.

“Good morning baby,” Louis said the next day, having cuddled up in his chair without disturbing Harry the night before. Harry groggily blinked his eyes in response, utterly exhausted still. 

Louis was gentle as he rubbed Harry’s forearm through the blanket, knowing that Harry felt overloaded with sleep and medication. Harry soaked in the comforting touch, opening his eyes again as the door was knocked softly. 

“Hi, how are we doing?” Dr. Bell asked as he walked beside Harry’s bed, smiling down at him before scanning his monitors. 

“Lucy said you’ve been triggering your breathing tube all night, that’s a really good thing,” Dr. Bell said as he reached for a pair of gloves from the wall, checking Harry’s bruising before slipping them on. 

“Hi sweetie, good morning Louis,” Lucy said as she came into the room with a tray and a smile. 

“Good morning,” Louis replied, watching her slip on a pair of gloves as well. 

“It’s such a good thing that we’re going to take you off the ventilator, okay? It’ll be a little jarring but I’m sure you’ll be happier without it,” Dr. Bell said, Harry nodding in response. 

“Now I’m going to need you to stay relaxed for me, and I know you already feel drugged and sleepy but I might have to give you something else if you’re upset, okay? It might be scary for a little but I can’t have you moving or straining yourself right now, and that’s all the medication will help with.” 

Harry nodded before Dr. Bell started, peeling the tape off of Harry’s cheek that was holding his breathing tube down. Louis touched his hand under the blanket, letting Harry curl his fingers around his. Dr. Bell pressed a few buttons on the ventilator before pulling the tubing off of Harry’s tube, Harry gripping Louis’ hand as he pulled air in through his tube. 

“Good, I’m going to pull now, give me a big ‘breathe out,’” Dr. Bell said before pulling Harry’s tube out into a towel. 

“Easy, easy Harry,” Dr. Bell said as Harry coughed out, gasping in his first breath before coughing again. 

“Relax, you’re okay,” Dr. Bell said as Harry looked at him with wide eyes, trying to draw his knees up as he panicked, Lucy passing Dr. Bell a syringe, the medication immediately being pressed into Harry. 

“Good, yeah that cuts everything down, just relax,” Dr. Bell said as Harry calmed, going cross eyed from the hit of medication, his coughing dying down and his breathing settling. 

“Good, perfect Harry,” Dr. Bell said as he watched Harry’s monitor, Lucy getting a supply of oxygen, “your numbers are perfect Harry.” 

“Any pain?” Dr. Bell asked as he slipped the oxygen into Harry’s nose, Harry drunkenly looking at him and quietly whimpering at the thought of more medication in his system. He got a little head shake out, Dr. Bell looping the oxygen over his ears and under his chin. 

“It’s okay, I was just checking, I know it’s a lot of medication but I need you comfortable,” Dr. Bell said sympathetically, taking his gloves off and tossing them away. 

“He’s going to be loopy for a while, all I gave him was some anxiety medication but it was a decent dose,” Dr. Bell told Louis who nodded along. 

“Physio is coming in this afternoon to ultrasound his neck and assess him, they’ll formulate a plan to get him up in a few days, for now he just needs rest.”

“Okay, can definitely do that,” Louis said, rubbing Harry’s limp hand as Harry shut his eyes. 

“Lucy’s going to watch him for a bit, if there’s any sign of struggle or his numbers are dropping we’ll have to tube him again, but hopefully that doesn’t happen,” Dr. Bell said, giving Louis a small smile as Louis rubbed Harry’s palm. 

“Okay, thank you,” Louis said, trying to not cry over the fact that Harry couldn’t even stand up right now. That he still ran the risk of being on ventilation and that he was so broken. 

“He’ll be okay, it’s just a process, but he’ll be back and doing his stuff in no time, he’s strong and athletic already, his body’s just using a lot of that energy to repair, and he’s very medicated right now.”

Louis nodded his head as he felt the tears come up, dripping down his cheeks, Dr. Bell crouching down infront of him, Kleenex box in hand. 

“Now that he’s not on a ventilator he won’t have to be drugged so much. The pain medication will still make him groggy but he won’t have to be as sedated, and he can talk now, and that’s all good stuff.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis said softly, “it’s just hard. That phone call just keeps rattling around in my head, ‘Harry’s been in a car accident, no he’s not okay.’ Those words are my worst nightmare, and I hate seeing him struggle to even breathe,” Louis said, taking a Kleenex and wiping his eyes and nose. 

“I know, and that feeling is going to stick around for a while. I can assure you that he’s getting better though, yesterday’s xrays were better than the day before, and I’m sure today’s will be better than yesterday’s. He’s breathing on his own now, and has been all night.”

“His numbers are steady and stable, he’s not rejecting tube feeding and he can still wiggle his fingers and toes, those are all really good things, aren’t they?” 

Louis nodded, wiping his eyes again. 

“Focus on the little things, on those positive things, okay? I have to go finish my rounds now, but I’d like you to work on that, because you may not have been physically damaged, but you’re in your own mental recovery.”

Louis looked up to him as he patted Louis’ knee and stood up, smiling as he left the Kleenex box on Harry’s bed and went off to do his rounds, Louis left with the words stuck in his head. 

—

“Hi, good morning.”

Louis watched as Mary gently rubbed Harry’s arm, her shift starting a few hours ago, Harry taking in a breath as he woke up, his eyes blinking in the light. 

“We’ve lowered your sedation, you’re still going to feel groggy but hopefully not as sleepy. It’s nice not to have that tube in your mouth, isn’t it?” Mary said, Harry letting out a gargled hum. 

“Yeah, if you want you can have a little water, I’m sure your throat hurts.”

Harry nodded at her, Louis letting his hand go as he reached up to touch at his nose. 

“You still have your feeding tube, that’s what you can feel in your throat, but you can drink, it’s okay,” Mary explained as she helped Harry suck a bit of water through a straw. 

“Thank you,” Harry said, his voice thick and raw from the abuse. 

“You’re welcome, hows the pain?”

“Good,” Harry said. 

“On a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst?”

“A one, I feel fine,” Harry said slowly, searching for Louis along the bedrail. 

“I’m here baby, I’ve got you,” Louis said, touching Harry’s forearm before taking his hand again. 

“Mmm,” Harry hummed on a sigh, closing his eyes again. 

“You slept through your xrays but physio should come soon, they’ll probably wake you up,” Mary said, getting a hum from Harry as well, a smile from Louis. 

“The second day always hits the hardest, the adrenaline wears off and the exhaustion hits,” Mary said to Louis as she made sure Harry was tucked in before heading back out to her desk, Louis nodding in agreement. 

—

Louis watched Harry drift in and out of sleep for the rest of the morning, the nurses taking pity on him, bringing him lunch when they couldn’t get him to leave Harry’s side. 

“You need to eat as well, we can’t have both of you sick,” Mary had said, placing the bag of food onto Louis’ lap with a stern look, Louis eating partially in fear of her. He knew they put feeding tubes in people. 

Physio showed up an hour later, an ultrasound in tow. 

“Hi, I’m Jerry,” he introduced himself to Louis, “I’m going to check him over and then ultrasound his neck, Mary said he’d be okay to wake up, right?”

“Yeah, he’ll be fine, you can go ahead,” Louis said, watching Jerry get on a pair of gloves before looking over Harry’s body, Harry waking up as his ankle was touched. 

“It’s just physio,” Louis told him, causing Jerry to look up. 

“Sorry, I have to touch a bit,” Jerry said, finishing up his check. 

“I’m Jerry by the way, it’s nice to meet you,” he said, readying his ultrasound. 

“I’m sure this brace isn’t fun to be stuck in,” Jerry said as he undid the velcro of Harry’s neck brace. 

“It’s fine,” Harry said as his head was lifted enough for the brace to be taken off of him, placed to the side. Jerry touched up his neck, feeling everything. 

“Okay, I’m going to put some jelly on you and ultrasound it,” Jerry said, watching the screen as he worked. 

“I don’t see any tears, but it’s going to take some time for the tendons to regain their normal shape. I’d like you in the brace when you sleep so your head won’t lull and repull anything, but when you’re awake you can have it off. You’ll learn to be gentle with it, and when you’re sitting up we’ll work on some exercises to strengthen it, okay?”

“As far as everything else, I think you should be up and walking in a few days, and we’ll get your shoulder moving and everything back in motion. Right now we’re still waiting for your lung to heal a bit more, and to see how extensive your hip bruising is, but moving does help everything flow, even when it’s painful.”

“I think you’ll do good though, you’re a tough cookie,” Jerry said as he wiped Harry’s neck clean. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, have a good afternoon,” Jerry said, Harry smiling at him as he left. 

“That’s good news baby, isn’t it?” Louis said, Harry slowly turning to look at him. 

“It sounds overwhelming right now,” Harry said, smiling at Louis. 

“I know it does, but you’ll get there,” Louis said, running his hands through Harry’s sweaty hair. 

“Do I have a fever?” Harry asked. 

“I think so, I believe it was worse yesterday but it’s still low-grade,” Louis said, watching Harry hold his arm up and look at all of the tubes and wires in him. 

“Everything is so fuzzy in my head, I just remember it being bright and loud and then I was here,” Harry said with a frown. 

“Yeah, you were driving home from the gym and you were in an accident, the Rover saved you but you were knocked out right away and then they had to do surgery and bring you up here,” Louis said delicately, not wanting to upset Harry. 

“Was it my fault?”

“No baby, a truck ran a red and t-boned you, it wasn’t your fault at all,” Louis said, holding Harry’s hand as tears slipped down his cheeks. 

“What was the surgery?” Harry asked next. 

“Your arm shattered, they had to put a rod in it,” Louis said, trying not to throw his emotions onto Harry. 

“Did you see me before? How did you know?” 

“No, I just saw you after surgery, I think they took you right in. Jeff called me, he’s your emergency contact number, he was right here beside you before I was, he took care of everything.” 

“He’s a good guy,” Harry said. 

“Yeah, he is. A lot of people love you.”

“Does media know?” 

“Um, I have no idea. The other boys know though, both of them have been by, along with a bunch of others. I think the hospital has restricted people today though, you need your rest and quiet time,” Louis said, wiping Harry’s tears away with a Kleenex. 

“Please kiss me.”

“Of course baby,” Louis said, standing up and leaning over the bedrail to press a kiss to Harry’s mouth. 

“I love you so much,” Louis said, loving Harry up before looking at him, his face blotchy with tears and swollen from all the trauma, a few bruises fading on his hairline. 

“I love you too,” Harry said, watching Louis sit back in his chair. 

“We’re gunna be okay,” Louis said, Harry nodding. 

“Knock knock,” was said from the doorway then, Dr. Bell smiling at them. 

“Feeling a little better?” He asked as he came into the room, reading over Harry’s monitors as Harry nodded. 

“That’s good, I had a little chat with physio, and because you’re not going to be up for a bit we’re going to put you on leg compression.”

“It just wraps around your legs to keep the blood flowing, you’re on a low dose of blood thinner but we don’t want any chance of clotting,” Dr. Bell said, “it’ll feel funny at first but it’ll fade into the background for you eventually.”

“I already feel funny,” Harry said as the machine was brought in, snuck under the bottom of his bed. Louis chuckled at him, watching as Harry’s claves and thighs were velcroed into the sleeves before the machine was started, working the blood in his legs. 

“Comfortable as it can be?” Dr. Bell asked, Harry nodding as he grew tired again. 

“Do you need to have a sleep? I’ll put your brace back on if you do.”

“Okay,” Harry said, letting the padded plastic get wrapped around his neck again, holding his head still. 

“Don’t worry about staying awake, it’s good for you to sleep right now,” Dr. Bell said, Harry’s eyes drooping again. 

Louis brushed his fingertips on Harry’s skin as he settled, Dr. Bell checking his bruising and bandaging before leaving to finish his rounds.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, i have written this whist having a head cold, and kind of having some writers block. so. ya. 
> 
> i made a little soft inspo tumblr, where i basically just reblog things that remind me of soft and its very cutesy harry. 
> 
> i really hated writing this part, it like, broke my heart. i was like, uuuurgh the baby is upset :(((((( 
> 
> i think i mildly struggle to write this because I'm used to going back and editing and literally rewriting huge portions of fics, but i can't because I'm kinda just going for it with this one! it's like old school posting for me tbh. back when i started writing i would post things right away as well. theres honestly pros and cons to both ways, i just haven't don't this in ages. 
> 
> i probably won't write as quickly as i have been, mainly because I'm not going to be sick forever and i have to work and do real life stuff unfortunately. 
> 
> but anyways, i cried while watching old tour videos today. and i wrote this. enjoy! (also its over 10k already hahahaha)

“You want just a snug fit, not too tight but not loose either,” Louis was being explained by Mary the next morning, Dr. Bell ultrasounding Harry’s hips at the same time. 

“No choking me,” Harry said, Louis practicing doing up Harry’s neck brace for him. 

“I’m not going to choke you, I’m good at it,” Louis said, Mary chuckling at their banter. 

“Can survive car accident, can’t survive boyfriend,” Harry mumbled out, yawning afterwards. 

“It’s perfect, you do fine with it,” Mary said as she checked over Louis’ work, Louis smiling down to Harry as he rolled his eyes. 

“Okay, I definitely have one pocket that needs draining, and another one that I don’t think will be big enough to get into, it should just dissipate,” Dr. Bell said, “I don’t want to cut his blood thinner though, so we’ll have to syringe drain it.” 

“I want you to be comfortable through this, okay? I’m going to freeze the spot, but I’m going to have to put a fair sized needle into it, and the only way I can make it not hurt is with your pain med. I’m going to up it now, go and get what I need and then start. It’s okay if you want to sleep, I know you feel really drowsy and don’t like it, but I can tell you, the pain would be worse.”

Harry frowned as his medication was turned up, Louis gently rubbing his shoulder as he watched. Dr. Bell left the room, Mary cleaning up the ultrasound machine. 

“Hey, hi,” Louis said as he was touched on the shoulder, looking up to see Dr. Gray. 

“Hi, I have the morning off so I thought I’d come up and see my favourite patient,” Dr. Gray said, smiling at Harry who had gone more out of it as his medication rose. 

“They have to drain a bruise so he just got more pain med,” Louis said as Harry went cross eyed. 

“Ahhh yeah, that’ll make you doopy, won’t it? Everything they have you hooked up to helps you though, I know you probably don’t feel that way but you’re doing good,” Dr. Gray said, taking Harry’s hand as he reached up. 

“Take it out,” Harry whined. 

“I would if I could sweetie, I know you don’t like having the IV’s,” Dr. Gray said, “they have you all taped up, don’t they.”

“It’s especially not fun when you have to have everything on one side, pretty sure they have every vein,” Dr. Gray said as he scanned Harry’s arm, rubbing his fingers at the same time. 

“Did they put your central in your shoulder?” Dr. Gray asked, moving Harry’s blanket a bit to reveal the catheter taped above Harry’s collarbone. 

“Yeah, that’s better than getting it in the neck, it’s usually pretty comfortable in your shoulder,” Dr. Gray said, tucking Harry back in, “it’s nice not to have your ventilator either.” 

“Yeah, came off of it yesterday, didn’t you?” Louis said, Harry humming in agreement. 

“That’s good, one step at a time, right?” 

“He can have his neck brace off when he’s not sleeping too,” Louis said, sinking his hand into Harry’s hair. 

“Wow, look at you go,” Dr. Gray said, saying hello as Dr. Bell came back with his supplies. 

“Are we feeling sleepy?” Dr. Bell asked Harry, who hummed at him. 

“I’m going to start, I’ll let you know when you’ll feel some pinching, just relax in the meantime,” Dr. Bell said as he adjusted Harry’s blanket and started working on his prep. 

“I have a thingy,” Harry refocused back to Dr. Gray, trailing off at the end. 

“Yeah? Wanna tell me about it?” Dr. Gray asked, rubbing Harry’s thumb. 

“Mmmm it’s in my throat, but it won’t go down,” Harry said. 

“Yeah, you have a feeding tube, don’t you? It’s in your nose too, right?”

“Mhmm, is it in my tummy too?”

“Yeah, it is. It goes all the way down so you can get some food still,” Dr. Gray said. 

“I’m going to pinch Harry, just a couple times,” Dr. Bell warned, Harry’s hand flinching in Dr. Grays as he was frozen, a needle pressed into his hip. 

“You’re doing good, almost done,” Dr. Gray told Harry, running his fingers on Harry’s forearm and watching Dr. Bell freeze him. 

“There, all frozen Harry,” Dr. Bell said as he finished, tossing the needle away. 

“You did a good job baby,” Louis praised, pressing a kiss to Harry’s forehead, Dr. Gray touching his back as he stood up, whispering in his ear. 

“When was the last time you took a break?”

Louis looked up to him afterwards, knowing that he was about to be cared for. 

“I know you don’t want to leave, but you’re going to burn out. I know you don’t really trust anyone else with Harry, but I think Harry trusts me fairly well now, so if you want to go then you can, I’ll watch him for you,” Dr. Gray said, Louis fidgeting in his hold. 

“I, um,” Louis stuttered. 

“The nurses can help you to the showers and you can get a good meal into you, go take a break Louis,” Dr. Gray said, Louis knowing he wasn’t going to win. 

“Is it okay if I go for a little baby?” Louis turned to Harry, “doctor Gray will stay with you.”

Harry hummed in reply, falling asleep from his medication, hand getting limp in Dr. Grays. 

“I think he’ll probably sleep anyways, I’ll give you a call if anything happens, okay? Scoot out for a little while, we’ll be alright,” Dr. Gray said, Louis nodding before saying goodbye and getting his things, leaving Harry in the care of the doctors. 

“I’m going to start draining now, okay? You let me know if it’s painful, you might feel some pressure still but I don’t want you in pain,” Dr. Bell told Harry, prepping his syringe system before pressing it into Harry’s bruise, Harry squeezing his eyes closed at the feeling. 

“Is it pain Harry or just pressure?” Dr. Gray asked. 

“Pressure, it feels weird,” Harry complained as Dr. Bell taped the syringe down in place. 

“It’s in now, that’s all the pressure it’s going to be,” Dr. Bell said, “I’m going to suction it a bit at a time, kinda like when you get your blood drawn, okay? You’re doing really good so far.” 

Dr. Gray kept his hands moving on Harry’s arm as his bruise was drained, thick blood coming out of it. Harry drifted between sleep and little whines until it was done, the needle pulled from his skin and a bandage placed over it. 

“I’m all done, Mary’s going to change your bandages at some point but have a sleep for now,” Dr. Bell told Harry, throwing his gloves away, “I’ll see you around,” he said to Dr. Gray before heading out of Harry’s room. 

“You did a really good job, you definitely deserve a nap now,” Dr. Gray said as Harry looked to him. 

“Hold my hand though,” Harry said. 

“Of course, I won’t let go,” Dr. Gray said, reaching for the chair and pulling it over, making sure he could still hold Harry’s hand and sit at the same time. 

“Are you sticking your tongue out at me?” Dr. Gray asked as he caught Harry with his tongue out, bitten between his teeth. Harry giggled and shrugged his good shoulder, clearly having a good laugh. 

“You’re a silly one, put that away and rest, I’ll be right beside you,” Dr. Gray said, sitting down and making sure that Harry could wrap his warm hand around his own, Dr. Gray’s thumb resting on the IV on the back of Harry’s hand. 

He watched Harry’s monitor as he settled, everything slowing down as he fell asleep. He smiled as Harry’s hand would twitch as he dreamed, scrunching his toes periodically as well. 

“Did he just knock out right away?” Louis asked as he returned, showered and well fed. 

“Yeah, he was a little loopy for a bit but it didn’t last long,” Dr. Gray whispered. 

“That’s good, thank you for staying with him.” 

“Anytime, it’s nice quiet time for me too, plus he’s just a saint so.” 

“Yeah, he’s been very very good, todays been the first day where he’s shown he’s annoyed by anything, but he’s also exhausted so I would also be cranky,” Louis said, bringing the second chair in the room beside Dr. Grays. 

“And how are you doing?” 

Louis rubbed his eyes and took a breath before answering, “I’ve been better.” 

“You’re exhausted too,” Dr. Gray said, making Louis look at him with a finger on his chin, examining his face. 

“Come down to my office tonight, after Harry’s all tucked in, we’ll have a chat, okay? No excuses.” 

“As for now, get your pillow and lay your head down, we have some time still,” Dr. Gray instructed, Louis having the sense not to argue and to just get the pillow Lucy had given him, laying it down on the armrests between Dr. Gray and himself, cuddling up in the chair. 

“There,” Dr. Gray said quietly, his free hand raking through Louis’ hair, watching him resist but eventually closing his eyes as well. 

“Ya two big softies,” Dr. Gray whispered to himself as he sat there, listening to Harry’s monitors and Louis’ deep breathing. 

—

“Am I seeing things or are both boys sleeping?” Mary said quietly an hour later, switching out one of Harry’s IV bags. 

“I have magic powers,” Dr. Gray said, Mary rolling her eyes at him. 

“I have to do a bandage change today, but I can’t bear doing it right now, they’re so peaceful, and I know this side bandage is going to hurt him,” Mary said, scrunching her nose as she looked at Harry’s bandage under the blanket for a moment. 

“X-ray should be around soon,” she said as she tucked Harry back in, “maybe after that.” 

“Yeah, I have to pop back downstairs for the afternoon soon,” Dr. Gray said, “I’m going to steal Louis tonight though.” 

“That’s good, Harry gets put on more sedation because we don’t want him up at night, it’ll be good for Louis to relax too,” Mary smiling as the X-ray team stopped at Harry’s door. 

“Come in, he’s fallen asleep again.”

“Louis,” Dr. Gray whispered and gently rubbed Louis’ arm, waking him up. 

“We just have to step out for the X-ray team,” he said, Louis yawning and getting up, Dr. Gray manoeuvring him out into the hallway. 

“I’m going to have to go now, if you’re not in my office by nine I’m coming to get you,” Dr. Gray told Louis, shrugging his shoulders as he stepped away from Louis’ unspoken protest. 

“Doctors,” Louis huffed to himself as he waited for Harry to be xrayed. 

“Harry, sweetie, I know you’re sleepy,” Louis heard Mary talking to Harry as he stepped back into the room, Harry moaning in annoyance at her.

“I have to change your bandages, okay? I’m going to start with your arm first,” Mary told him, starting to take the tape off his arm, Louis standing and watching the staples be revealed. 

“You okay watching?” Mary asked as she saw Louis, making sure he nodded in response. 

“It looks good, I think this’ll be the easy one.” 

“His side won’t be so easy?” Louis asked. 

“No, it’s a big space in a delicate area, his ribs definitely took the brunt of the hit unfortunately,” Mary said, wiping Harry’s staples down before wrapping them back up in a clean bandage. 

“I’m going to try and be gentle but this might hurt a bit,” Mary said as she went for Harry’s side bandage, Harry opening his eyes as she touched it. 

“Sorry, I know it’s tender,” Mary said as Harry flinched from her trying to trying to get the edge of the tape. 

Harry whined as she worked some of the tape off with a wipe, Harry’s skin sensitive to the touch. 

“Shhh, I know it’s painful,” Mary said as Harry cried out, scrunching his toes in pain as she worked along the top of the bandage, “stay still sweetie, I don’t want you to move.”

“Quiet love, I’m right here,” Louis said as Harry ran his good hand down the bedrail, Louis reaching out and touching his foot to tell him where he was. 

“Let’s see if I can’t poke in here a little,” Mary said, pulling Harry’s bandage out slightly, Harry immediately screaming at the movement, the pain of it radiating through his ribs. 

“Harry, Harry,” Mary called as Harry drew his knees up and arched his back on the bed, Mary trying to keep his hurt arm still as he lifted it, trying to find purchase on something, wanting to pull himself up. 

Mary had her finger on his call button in no time, calling out a code, Louis moving out of the way as three more nurses and security were suddenly in the room, restraining Harry’s limbs to his bed as he let out a struggled scream. 

“Don’t pull Harry, relax, don’t pull,” Harry was being asked, Mary holding onto his hurt arm as another nurse upped his sedation, Harry whimpering out and shaking as it hit his system. 

Harry started sobbing as Dr. Bell came into the room, assessing the situation. 

“Shhh, it’s alright,” Dr. Bell told Harry, scanning his monitors before asking a nurse to get him a medication. 

“Was it the bandage?” 

“Yeah, as soon as I moved it he was in pain and reacted,” Mary said. 

“Okay, yeah, we’re just going to breathe - take a minute to calm down. I know that hurt pretty bad, didn’t it?” Dr. Bell talked to Harry, getting a nod in response, “I’m going to give you some medication and you’re not going to remember much on it, but I know that was pretty scary and I don’t want you to be afraid of your bandage changes, okay?” 

Dr. Bell dosed out the medication from the nurse before pressing it into one of Harry’s IV ports, the tubing shaking from Harry. 

“You can clear code, we’ll give him a few minutes and then sort him out,” Dr. Bell said as he looked at Mary, everyone else in the room relaxing again, security leaving. 

“Yeah, that’s a bit better, isn’t it?” Dr. Bell asked as Harry’s shaking died down and he began to relax again, “You’ve shimmed down the bed a bit though, everything’s a little jammed up.”

“Is he on the underpad for you?” Mary asked, looking at where Harry had ended up in the bed. 

“Not really, we’ll have to lift him back up onto it. We can take him off leg compression for now, I doubt he’s going to stay perfectly still for this change, giving him his legs will be our safest bet. I want that arm wrapped up before we do anything though, if he moves it and knocks it I don’t want it damaged.”

“It feels a lot better when everything kicks in, doesn’t it?” Dr. Bell said as he looked at Harry, undoing his arm restraint and placing it back on the bed. Harry was half asleep already, malleable as his arm was wrapped and his legs undone and unrestrained. 

“You okay love?” Mary asked Louis, who was stood chewing on his thumbnail. 

“Urm ya,” Louis said, trying to process that Harry just about flung himself out of bed. 

“Come sit,” Dr. Bell told him, “it happens sometimes, but he’s okay,” he said as Louis moved back to his chair, shakily sitting down again. 

“We’re going to lift you back up the bed so you’re comfortable, okay? Mary’s going to take your arm and shoulder and Lenas going to take your hips on that side and Marie and I are going to take this side, put ya back up where you should be.” 

Harry didn’t respond to being spoken to, but groaned out as he was picked up and placed back up on the bed. He was hot and sweaty and had tear streaks across his temples, his body complaining from all the movement and commotion, Dr. Bell asking a nurse to get some cool water and a cloth for him. 

“Let’s wipe some of this away, cool down a little,” Dr. Bell said as he wiped Harry’s face and chest, one of the nurses wiping his legs down, blanket pooled at his hips. 

“Feels better?” Dr. Bell asked as he folded up his cloth, placing it across Harry’s chest while the nurse wiped his groin, Harry not responding to the question. 

“Hey, can you squeeze my hand Harry?” Dr. Bell asked, putting his hand in Harry’s, feeling a lazy squeeze in response. 

“Good job - lets decrease his sedation a little bit, I don’t want to have to intervene his airway,” Dr. Bell said, Mary resetting his sedation level. 

“I’m going to let Mary take your bandage off now, it’s going to hurt for a little while she cleans it, but you can move your legs if you like, okay?”

“I’m going to try and numb it as much as I can for you Harry, I have to peel it back a little bit to get the solution in there though, I promise I’m not trying to pull,” Mary said, pulling the bandage out again as Harry cried out, the pain working its way through all his medication. Mary soaked his bandage thoroughly, letting it rest afterwards. 

“This is a bad one, he’s going to scream through this until it heals,” Mary said, looking up to Dr. Bell. 

“I know, I don’t know if anaesthesia is the right route though, I don’t want him dependant on the ventilator because he has to be on it every other day.”

“We’ll have to discuss it afterwards, hopefully this has numbed up a little bit for him for now,” Mary said, Harry whining as she started to remove the bandage again, wiping at the tapes adhesive. 

“I’m almost done, just a bit of the bottom to go,” Mary said, holding the bandage to his side as she finished removing the tape, “Okay, here’s the worst bit.”

Harry screamed as the bandage was peeled from his side, dragging his feet on the mattress as he shook from the pain, gasping for air. 

“It’s so bad, I’m so sorry Harry,” Mary said, “I feel so bad doing that.” 

“Infected or no?” Dr. Bell asked, one hand rubbing Harry’s shoulder and the other holding his hand, concern etched on his face as he looked to Mary. 

“Doesn’t look like it, but all I can really do is run saline on it because it’s so raw, I don’t want to touch it,” Dr. Bell nodding. 

“Go ahead, I’m going to consult with some others afterwards,” Dr. Bell said, Mary nodding and patching Harry back up through his cries and screams. 

“We’re all done,” Dr. Bell said eventually, Harry absolutely beat by the end, limp as his legs were put back in compression, his blanket left on his hips after he got wiped down again. 

“Thank you for letting us do our job, I can’t imagine what that was like to listen to,” Dr. Bell said to Louis as he crouched down in front of him, Louis trying to stop his nose from running because he couldn’t help crying himself. 

“I promise we’re going to sort out something better, there’s no way I want him to go through that all the time, plus we can’t get a good clean of the area either. I’m going to discuss it with some really top wound specialists tonight and tomorrow, see what they say and go from there, okay?” 

“Yeah, I trust you, thank you for doing your best, I know it’s a bad injury,” Louis said, wiping at his fresh batch of tears. 

“He’s not very responsive at the moment but I know he’d want a hand to hold his, and I think you need that too right now. Come and sit closer,” Dr. Bell said, helping Louis move his chair and get a grip on Harry’s hand, even though he already had his eyes shut. 

Louis barely heard everyone leave after that, letting himself sob into his Kleenex box.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: this doesn’t feel long enough or emotional enough   
> Also me: could cry lol

“Shhh, I’ve got you.”

Louis mumbled out as he was picked up from his chair, Dr. Gray waving to Lucy as he took Louis down to his office space, Louis out on his shoulder. 

“Where are we,” Louis mumbled as Dr. Gray set him down on a bed. 

“In the back part of my office, I have a bed back here and it’s probably more comfortable than that chair.”

“Mmmm.”

“Sleep, you need it,” Dr. Gray said as he covered Louis up in the sheets, closing the door behind himself. 

—

“Did you carry me here last night?” Louis said the next morning, sleep rumpled in the doorway, Dr. Gray turning in his chair to look at him. 

“Yep. I came upstairs when you didn’t come down, and Lucy filled me in that it was a rough afternoon and that both of you were already asleep when her shift started,” Dr. Gray said, Louis rubbing his eyes. 

“I figured being passed out on the arm of the chair wasn’t going to benefit you much, so I brought you down.”

“Where did you sleep?” Louis asked. 

“I slept yesterday afternoon, I’m on a night shift currently, so the bed was yours,” Dr. Gray said, Louis nodding in understanding. 

“Thank you, for doing that,” Louis said. “Didn’t happen to bring my shoes did you?” 

“I did snag a certain pair of Vans actually,” Dr. Gray said, smiling as he got Louis’ shoes out from under his desk, Louis sheepishly walking out and taking them from him. 

“It’s okay, no need to be shy, it’s pretty quiet around here in the morning.”

“I know, it’s just – I dunno,” Louis stuttered out, wiggling his feet into his shoes. 

“Louis. Come here for a second,” Dr. Gray said, Louis walking up infront of him, letting him take hold of his wrist. 

“I heard about yesterday. I know it broke you to pieces, because I’ve watched you take care of Harry day in and day out and now you can’t. You can’t just magically take this away and I know it’s eating you. Please don’t push the help away, let yourself be taken care of as well.”

“This is going to be a long process, and Dr. Bell and I have discussed it already, he has the responsibility of looking after Harry, and I have the responsibility of looking after you. So please let me, okay? Don’t fight me, I have the drugs too.”

Louis scoffed at his last comment, rolling his eyes through his tears that had started falling, Dr. Gray giving his wrist a squeeze as he smiled up at him. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll be a willing participant, I promise,” Louis said, wiping at his cheeks. 

“Okay, I want you down here every night. It’s good for you to have some time to decompress and to get a good sleep. That’s all I want right now, just come down after you say goodnight to Harry,” Dr. Gray said. 

“And eat something before you get up there, I hope today is better than yesterday,” Dr. Gray said before dismissing Louis for the day. 

—

“Hi, baby,” Louis said as he got up to the ICU, Harry dosing in his bed, looking up as Louis came into the room. 

“Hi,” Harry said sleepily, but clearly enough for Louis to know he wasn’t heavily sedated, just tired. 

“How are you love?” Louis asked as he gave Harry a kiss. 

“I have this weird all over ache, I can tell the pain med is covering it up though, but I’m definitely sore,” Harry said, “how are you? I heard you got abducted by doctor Gray last night, how was that?” 

“News really travels around here, doesn’t it?” Louis exasperated, Harry shrugging his good shoulder with a smile. 

“It was good, considering I was asleep for most of it.” 

“Ooo did he knock you out?” Harry asked, looking far too excited for someone in a neck brace. 

“No, silly. I guess I was that tired. Did get threatened with medication though.”

“Aww, they got me good yesterday, I don’t remember anything past getting that bandage changed, and that’s fuzzy at best,” Harry said, Louis seriously wondering how little sedation they were giving him. 

“That’s good, it got a little rough so I’m glad you don’t remember.” 

“Yeah, I just woke up today when the X-ray guys came in, dunno the rest,” Harry said, “oh but the doctor said my lung’s doing way better, who knew lungs reinflated themselves?” 

“He’s chipper today, isn’t he?” 

Louis turned to look as Dr. Bell came into the room, smiling at him. 

“Yeah, I’m surprised.”

“We lowered sedation because we’re going to place an epidural, and he’s going to have to sit up for a little bit, didn’t want him too groggy for it. Normally, we don’t like people so awake, need you to focus on relaxing and letting your body do its thing, don’t we?” Dr. Bell said with his eyebrows raised at Harry. 

“Am I going to have my baby?” Harry chirped instead. 

“It may also be pain med speaking.”

“H, you’re still not pregnant love,” Louis said, “this is a thing.”

“Ahhh, maybe one day you’ll have a baby. For today though, we’re going to put it up at the top of your back, so we can get to cleaning your side up without it hurting you like it has been, okay?” Dr. Bell told Harry, making him pout. 

“And it won’t make him stop breathing?” Louis asked. 

“No, actually. It works quite well at providing pain relief but not affecting breathing. We only plan to use it for bandage changes as well, or if he’s in a lot of pain from physio. Most of the time he’ll have the option but probably won’t need it.” 

“Ahh okay, I see.”

“We have an anesthesiologist coming to install it, I just wanted to come and explain beforehand, make sure everything was okay,” Dr. Bell said, watching Harry bite his bottom lip. 

“Will it hurt?” Harry quietly asked. 

“He’ll need you to sit sideways on the bed and bend forward as much as you can, I suspect that’ll be the worst part. You’ll get some local anaesthetic first and that should numb you up for the actual tap, and if you get any pain from that then you let us know, we don’t want to bump anything we shouldn’t be. Try not to worry, he’s very very experienced in doing them,” Dr. Bell said, Harry nodding and giving a quiet ‘okay.’

“I’ll be back in a bit, shouldn’t be long,” Dr. Bell said, leaving the room. 

“It’ll be okay, it’ll be better for your side and ribs,” Louis said to Harry. 

“Epidurals go in your spine Louis,” Harry whined. 

“Shhh, it’ll be good once it’s in, and I don’t think doctor Bell would choose someone untrustworthy to do it, you don’t have to worry.”

Louis ran his hand through Harry’s hair as they waited, keeping Harry quiet until Dr. Bell and the anesthesiologist came into the room, ultrasound and supplies in hand. 

“Hi, I’m doctor Hines, I’m going to try and get you more comfortable, okay? I’ll try and be gentle but it might hurt a little bit,” the anesthesiologist introduced himself, soft spoken towards Harry. 

“We’re going to have a bit of an operation to get him in a good position, but I’d like him to lean on you through the tap if that’s okay? Either on your shoulder, or on your chest, it’s really what’s most comfortable for him,” Dr. Hines said to Louis, Louis giving a nod and an ‘okay’ in reply. 

“Okay, lets get you up,” Dr. Bell said as he took Harry’s legs out of his compression. 

“We’ll sit you up and then swing your legs off the bed, okay? You’re going to feel woozy and a little lightheaded but we’ve got you, safe and sound,” Dr. Bell instructed, dropping the bed guard. 

“Come’re love, I know it hurts,” Louis said as they lifted Harry’s torso up, his hurt arm held for him by Dr. Hines. Harry whimpered out at the movement, his side burning as he moved. 

“There we are, just your legs now,” Dr. Bell said as he took Harry’s legs and turned him, Louis taking his arm as he was sat on the edge of the bed, his lines being checked for any pulls. 

“Almost there, you’re doing great,” Dr. Bell said as he took Harry’s neck brace off, Harry panting out already. 

“I’m going to need you to curl your back up as much as you can. I know it’s really painful to do, but you can rest your head down on Louis, let him support you,” Dr. Hines guided, keeping a hand on Harry’s waist as he curled forward, crying out as his bandage shifted on his skin, his ribs feeling like knives in his side. 

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you baby,” Louis said as Harry rested his forehead on his shoulder, sobbing from the pain. 

“Good job, that’s perfect Harry. I’m going to work nice and fast so you can have some relief,” Dr. Hines said, Louis watching as he began ultrasounding Harry’s back, choosing the spot he wanted and marking it. 

Harry was cleaned with iodine before a medical towel was placed over his back and neck, a square cut out right where the epidural was going. Louis felt Harry grab onto his shirt with his good arm as the freezing needle was pushed into him, numbing the area. 

“Okay, stay nice and still like you have been Harry, you’re doing a great job,” Dr. Hines said, his steady hands pushing the epidural needle into Harry’s back, Louis wide-eyed as it was maneuvered into Harry’s spine, the pop of it audible to him. 

“We’re in,” Dr. Hines said as he tested that he was in the correct placement. 

“No pain? Nothing sharp or shooting Harry?” Dr. Hines asked as he prepped the catheter line. 

“Mmmm, no,” Harry whined out. 

“Okay, perfect. I’m almost done,” Dr. Hines said as he took the syringe off of the needle, Louis fully facing the fact that he was looking at a needle sticking out of Harry’s spine. 

Dr. Hines fed the line through the needle, picking up the ultrasound again to place it perfectly, guiding it down into Harry’s spine. 

“Okay, we’re placed,” Dr. Hines said, holding the catheter in place as he slid the needle out of Harry’s back and down the line. 

“I’m going to single dose him now, bandaging takes a minute and I don’t want him so uncomfortable,” Dr. Hines told Dr. Bell, flushing the line and administering the epidural, Harry immediately sighing as it wrapped around his rib cage. 

“Yeah, that feels good, doesn’t it?” Louis said as he felt Harry’s grip lessen on him. 

“Let me tape this up and then you can really relax, it takes about half an hour to really kick in,” Dr. Hines said, bandaging the entry point and taping the tube up to Harry’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, that’s better, isn’t it?” Dr. Bell said as they got Harry back onto the bed fully, head back on his pillow. 

“So much better,” Harry agreed, looking at Dr. Hines, “I like you.” 

“I like you as well,” Dr. Hines said with a smile, hooking Harry’s epidural up to a pump. 

“I’m going to leave the pump for now, if he needs a single dose you can do that or if he needs continuous you can do that as well, I’ll come in and check it periodically too, but it’s pretty good to go,” Dr. Hines said to Dr. Bell as he cleaned up. 

“Okay, thanks so much for doing it, I know you’re a wanted man,” Dr. Bell said. 

“Eh, the ICU’s a nice change of scenery, I can’t do OR every day of my life.”

“Plus the patients are pretty good up here too, I hope you feel better soon,” Dr. Hines said, touching Harry’s hand lightly and giving him a wink as he headed out. 

“With that all placed, I’m going to let some wound specialists come and see you, give you the best chance to avoid infection and heal up nicely,” Dr. Bell said to Harry. 

“It doesn’t end,” Harry said with a sigh, worn out from his day already. 

“I know, getting better is exhausting,” Dr. Bell said, “I’m going to up your sedation a tiny bit, it’ll help you sleep a little.” 

“Shhh baby,” Louis said as Harry whined and drew his legs up on the bed, relaxing as his sedation seeped into him though, head lolling to his bad shoulder without his neck brace on. 

“You’re good, it’s easier to tolerate all this when you’re a little drowsy,” Dr. Bell said, Harry humming in reply as he got slipped back into his leg compression, Louis helping him into his neck brace. 

“Shhh, sweetheart, what is it?” Louis asked as he saw Harry crying. 

“I’m so tired all the time and I miss home,” Harry cried out, Louis cooing to him. 

“I know, I know, I’m sorry baby.” 

“I don’t, I don’t want to anymore,” Harry cried, sucking in a choppy breath and reaching for Louis. 

“You can sit on the edge of the bed - I’m just going to be outside the door, his sedation should keep him calm but call if you need to,” Dr. Bell said quickly in Louis’ ear, giving Harry his space. 

Louis gingerly sat on the edge of Harry’s bed, letting him grab onto the arm of his sweater as he cried. 

“Shhh, I know it’s hard,” Louis said, brushing Harry’s hair back with his fingers. 

“I don’t, want it, please – I don’t.”

“Yeah, let it out sweetheart,” Louis said as Harry struggled, his fingers adjusting in fabric. 

“I’m, I’m tried! And I don’t want to be sleepy and I wanna go home and I just want to go back,” Harry cried, Louis being patient with him. 

“I don’t like all of this and I can’t even sit up anymore, and it hurts when I do and it hurts when I breathe and I’m suppose to sing for a living - Louis please,” Harry sobbed out, Louis continually brushing his fingers across Harry’s skin. 

“I know, it’s only day three though, it’s still early on,” Louis said, Harry groaning. 

“I just want to go back to the gym.”

“And you will darling, I know you’re having a lot of negative emotions right now but I promise you’re going to get back to where you were, it’ll just be a little bit of time.”

Harry fisted Louis’ sweater before letting out a scream of frustration, Dr. Bell coming back into the room at the sound. 

“No!” Harry yelled as he saw his sedation get upped again, the medication quieting him immediately, his hand falling into Louis’ lap. 

“I’m sorry, I know you don’t like it but I need you quiet and relaxed, I know it’s difficult,” Dr. Bell said, Harry breathing heavy from his outburst. 

“Shhh baby,” Louis cooed as he took Harry’s hand, thumb tracing across his knuckles. 

“You know, I did bring a little bit of home with me,” Louis told Harry over his whimpers. 

“Really?” Harry squeaked out, beginning to slur his speech. Louis nodded and got up from the bed, picking up Honey from where she had been placed out of the way. 

Harry whined and clunked his hand off of the top portion of his bed guard when Louis held Honey in front of him, Louis smiling and helping him reach up and touch her. 

“She’s my favourite,” Harry half whined, half coughed, his throat thick with snot from his crying. 

“Hmm, maybe we’ll suction that out,” Dr. Bell said as Louis tucked Honey into Harry’s side, Harry starting to fade into sleeping again. 

“Let me just grab a couple things,” Dr. Bell said to Louis before slipping out of the room. 

“Sleep if you want to baby, everything’s okay,” Louis said to Harry, sitting back down on the bed and running his fingers on Harry’s forearm. 

“I can’t, I can’t feel,” Harry slurred, his fingers touching his chest over Honey. 

“It’s just your epidural working, you’re going to feel numb across your chest,” Louis explained to him, looking over as Dr. Bell came back with a machine and some tubing. 

“I’m going to put a tube down your nose and suction out your throat, okay? It’ll be uncomfortable for a little but it’ll clear all the mucus out,” Dr. Bell told Harry as he set up, Harry frowning but staying quiet over it. 

“Hi, you’re sleepy now, aren’t you?” Dr. Bell said as he stuck his stethoscope in his ears and listened to Harry’s chest, Harry’s eyes drooping. 

“Yeah, he’s all gummed up,” Dr. Bell said, getting the suction tube and lubing the end. 

“Sorry, I know it’s not fun,” Dr. Bell said as he pulled Harry’s oxygen out of his nose and worked the tube up Harry’s nostril that didn’t have his feeding tube in it, Harry frowning at the intrusion. 

“I’ll do it a little bit at a time, let you catch your breath in between, okay? You’re doing great,” Dr. Bell said before he started suctioning Harry out, Harry scrunching his toes but staying relaxed as his airway was cleared out. 

“Good job, I know that it’s not fun for me to shove things in your nose, is it?” Dr. Bell said as he finished and began removing the tube, tossing it out and wiping up Harry’s nose with a Kleenex. 

“Yeah, tubing and crying gets a bit messy,” Dr. Bell said as he wiped around Harry’s feeding tube, cleaning away the build up from his crying. 

“There you go, all cleaned up,” Dr. Bell said as he tucked Harry’s oxygen back in his nose, smiling down at Harry.

“Have a sleep, you’re worn out,” Dr. Bell said, taking off his gloves before giving Harry’s hand a squeeze, looking at Louis. 

“He won’t last long, the bed guard just pulls up once he’s sleeping. The wound specialists might be a couple hours, I’m sure they’ll want a good look though.”

“Okay, we’ll see you in a bit then,” Louis said, smiling as Dr. Bell left. 

“Sleep love,” Louis said to Harry, “close your eyes baby.” 

—

“You doing okay?” Dr. Bell asked Louis a few hours later, Louis humming in reply as he dosed in his chair. 

“He’s slept since you left,” Louis said, sitting up as three more doctors came into the room as well. 

“That’s good, we’re going to look at his side a bit, hopefully he stays asleep.” 

Louis nodded and relaxed back in the chair, letting the doctors prep to take Harry’s bandage off again. They were careful as they moved Harry’s arm out of the way and tucked protective bedding under his side. Harry stayed asleep as his bandage tape was removed, stirring as the bandage was peeled off of him. 

“It’s okay, we’re just looking at your side,” Dr. Bell assured him, “worst parts over already.”

Harry quietly hummed in response, still mostly asleep as his pain was dulled with his epidural. 

“It’s better, isn’t it?” Louis asked, standing up from his chair, looking at Harry nodding as he dosed. 

“What’s it look like?” Harry croaked out, Louis almost missing his question it was so quiet. 

“I haven’t really seen it baby,” Louis said, chewing on his lip as he looked at Dr. Bell. 

“You can look if you think you’ll be fine,” Dr. Bell said, Louis slowly working his way around the bed, chewing on his lip as he saw Harry’s side for the first time. 

“Yeah, that’s a lot, isn’t it?” Louis said to Dr. Bell, taking in the fact that Harry’s skin had just been torn away, scraped off along with whatever shirt he had been wearing. 

“It is, he’ll have quite the scar afterwards,” Dr. Bell said, Louis nodding, only being able to focus on Harry’s side for so long, going back to the other side of the bed, playing with Harry’s hair. 

“It’s not pretty,” Louis said quietly as Harry lazily stared up at him, clearly still heavily drugged. 

Harry frowned as his side was touched, the doctors delicately working on it. 

“Is it hurting?” Louis asked. 

“Just burns,” Harry replied, Dr. Bell keeping an eye on him as well. 

“Can you give me a number on the feeling? One being no pain and ten being the worst?” Dr. Bell asked. 

“Mmm like two,” Harry hummed out, Dr. Bell telling him ‘that’s okay’ afterwards. 

Louis patiently waited as Harry’s side was worked on, the doctors discussing medical terms and taking swabs of Harry’s wound, Harry frowning here and there throughout, a fresh bandage being pressed to him afterwards. 

“You did good baby,” Louis praised, knowing that Harry only stayed calm because he was medicated, but still feeling proud that he wasn’t in pain anymore and that he wasn’t resisting or feeling negative at the moment. 

“M’tired,” Harry mumbled, his arm being placed back down in a comfortable position by one of the doctors, who smiled at his delirium. 

“Sleep then, you’re all done,” Louis said softly, the doctors filing out of the room, Dr. Bell smiling and waving to Louis as they made eye contact, Louis knowing that it was time Harry slept for the night and he headed downstairs. 

“Close your eyes, I’m right here sweetheart, nothing else is going to happen, you can get a good sleep in now,” Louis said, brushing his fingertips along Harry’s skin and across his face. Harry started deep breathing almost immediately after his eyes shut, out like a light in no time. 

Louis watched for a few minutes before pressing a kiss to Harry’s temple and grabbing his few things for the night, turning the room light off and slipping out of the door. 

“He fell asleep right away? That’s good,” Dr. Bell said, breaking off from the rest of the doctors. 

“Yeah, he was pretty drowsy already,” Louis said. 

“I know, I’m going to pause everything for him tomorrow, I think physio wanted to come up but he needs a day to recuperate and sleep.”

“Yeah, he’s more than exhausted now, could use a day to relax,” Louis said. 

“Of course, I think you could as well, have a few visitors for a day,” Dr. Bell said, “for now though, scurry along, doctor Gray will come for you before you know it.” 

“Yeah, isn’t that true. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Louis said as he stepped away, heading for the exit. 

Louis mind began replaying the day to him as he walked down to Dr. Gray’s office, his own exhaustion creeping up on him and making his thoughts erratic, on the brink of tears by the time he reached the door. He knocked quietly and waited, a sob popping out of him as the door opened. 

“Hey, hey, come here,” Dr. Gray said as he saw Louis, urging him into his office with an arm around his back. 

“It’s okay, deep breaths Louis, I got you,” Dr. Gray said as he led Louis to the bed, getting him to sit. 

“Shhhh, take some steady breaths,” Dr. Gray said as he grabbed a Kleenex box and knelt down infront of Louis, wiping his cheeks and nose for him. He kept at it as Louis got his crying out, eventually sighing out his tension. 

“Sorry, I’m not usually so, teary,” Louis said as he made eye contact, Dr. Gray smiling at him. 

“I know you aren’t, but I’m actually glad to see that you are at the moment.”

Louis rolled his eyes at the comment, Dr. Gray chuckling and holding a few Kleenex’s to his nose. 

“Blow please,” Dr. Gray asked, Louis trying to level him with a look before complying, blowing his snotty nose into the Kleenex. 

“Is this how you’re going to take care of me? Wipe away my sniffles?” Louis asked. 

“I think you’ve forgotten that I know you’ve had some little times as well, so yes, if that’s what it takes, I’ll wipe your sniffles,” Dr. Gray replied, earning another eye roll. 

“I shouldn’t have answered your questions,” Louis said, knowing that Dr. Gray knew both him and Harry inside out. 

“You know I’ve also wiped Harry’s tears, I wouldn’t play favourites,” Dr. Gray said as he stood up and threw Louis’ Kleenex’s out, stepping out of the room for a moment, coming back with a thermos and a spoon. 

“Let’s get some food into you,” Dr. Gray said, sitting on the bed beside Louis. 

“How do you know I haven’t eaten?” Louis said, watching as tomato soup was poured out into the lid of the thermos. 

“I can see it in your eyes, you’re a pretty bright person usually, but you look exhausted right now. Here, eat,” Dr. Gray said, passing the soup to Louis before getting up again. 

“Now, I think if you’re going to be here a while, it’d be better if we actually signed you into the hospital, okay? I’ll put you under observation so you can still go up to Harry for the day, but just so that nothing comes across fishy to admin,” Dr. Gray said, Louis shrugging his shoulder. 

“It makes sense,” Louis said, placing his soup down and getting his health card out, passing it to Dr. Gray. 

“Thanks, I’ll be two seconds,” Dr. Gray said, Louis eating his soup in silence while his hospital bracelet was printed. 

“Let’s put it on your ankle so it’s out of your way and Harry won’t have a reason to worry,” Dr. Gray said, Louis letting him take his foot and push his pant leg up to get the bracelet on him. 

“There, feeling a bit better?” Dr. Gray asked as he looked up and saw that Louis had finished eating, Louis nodding and letting them trade bowl for health card. 

“Good, would you like to talk about today?”

Louis suddenly felt shy at the question, knowing that it was inevitable because he showed up sobbing, but not really knowing where to start in his head. 

“You’re allowed to say ‘no’, it might take some time,” Dr. Gray said, “we can do something else or you can just sleep, everything’s flexible.”

“What does ‘doing something else’ mean?” Louis said, perplexed at that option. 

“I mean, your bloodwork is overdue - but we could stroll the halls if you wanted to, the hospital is quiet at this time of day.”

“I watched them put a needle in Harry’s back,” Louis suddenly blurted out, wide eyed as his skin heated with the rush of emotion. Dr. Gray paused for a moment before placing Louis’ foot back down on the floor, placing a hand on Louis’ knee. 

“That would’ve been a lot to take in.”

“It was just like, I didn’t think it would affect me because I’ve seen him get needles all the time but I don’t know. This one was big and he was worrying about it being in his spine and it was audible when it went in and it was right there in his back while I held him,” Louis let out, Dr. Gray listening patiently. 

“Epidurals are a lot to process, aren’t they? Come here,” Dr. Gray said as he picked up Louis’ feet one at a time, slipping his shoes off and getting him properly on the bed, a few pillows stacked behind his head. 

“I know it was overwhelming but I’m sure Harry got some relief from it, didn’t he?” Dr. Gray asked, Louis nodding as tears streaked his cheeks. 

“Yeah, and it’s just the catheter tube in there now, the needle’s all gone.” 

“I’m sure it was painful and scary for him to have it placed, but I can assure you he’s much more comfortable now and he’s safe and sleeping,” Dr. Gray said, wiping at Louis’ tears again. 

“I know, it’s just, it’s so much,” Louis said, looking at Dr. Gray, upset written all over his face. 

“I know – it’s a lot of trauma and surgery and pain, but he’s alive and he can talk and walk and he’ll heal with time. Considering that the accident totalled the Range Rover and his door was hit head-on, he’s doing quite spectacularly.” 

“I won’t give you false hope and tell you that he’s going to be normal in a few weeks, but I can tell you that there’s excellent rehab gyms out there and that the physio team is great here, and that he’s already got his fitness and age on his side. I know that the epidural was scary to watch and that it’s one more line placed in him, but right now he really needs his pain managed and it sounds like it all went as smoothly as it could.”

“You’re very worn out Louis, it’s been an emotional set of days and it’s shocking to be in this situation. You fully expected Harry to walk through the door that night. You expected him to come in and sleep with you, that you’d have him cuddled in your arms. Coming to terms with the fact that it didn’t happen and that he got really hurt is difficult, for anybody. It’s a struggle to get over that mentally, but just like it’s one day at a time for him, it’s one day at a time for you as well.”

“I know you’ll get through this, hand in hand with him. The shock of it will fade over time and it’ll turn into another chapter of your lives together. He’ll be safe and sound in your arms again.”

Louis nodded as he grabbed a Kleenex for himself, pressing the whole thing over his face, sighing out from behind his hands. 

“I am exhausted,” Louis said, composing himself the best he could in the moment. 

“It’s all a little adrenaline based upstairs, once you’re away from it, it all comes flooding in usually. Perfectly normal,” Dr. Gray said, watching Louis wipe his face, “and it’s better out than in.” 

“Yeah, yeah it is. You’re right, it is shocking and hard to deal with, but it’s true that it could’ve been worse,” Louis said, Dr. Gray smiling at him. 

“Do they have any plans for tomorrow?”

“No, he definitely needs a day to rest, so they’re giving him one,” Louis said, beginning to relax into the bed. 

“That’s good, I’ll have to come up and sneak a hello in,” Dr. Gray said, “you should get some rest now too though, that was a lot.”

Louis nodded in reply, thankful when Dr. Gray helped him get his jeans off, Louis being allowed to just lay there like a wet noodle. 

“Socks on or off?” Dr. Gray asked, folding Louis’ jeans. 

“Off please,” Louis said, legs left bare except his hospital bracelet, the blankets getting tugged up to cover him. 

“Have a good sleep, I’ll be just outside the door if you need anything,” Dr. Gray said, cleaning up the small mess they had made before heading out of the room, the light turned off and the door just slightly ajar. Louis adjusted his pillows around until he was comfortable, falling asleep with one under his arm, taking Harry’s place for the moment. 

—

Louis woke with a start, gasping in air as he grabbed the sheets, his body tingling from the abrupt wake up. 

“Hey, it’s okay, just a bad dream.”

Louis blinked in his surroundings, eyes adjusting to the light that was coming in from the door, eventually settling on Dr. Gray beside him, a hand on his arm through the sheets. 

“What?” Louis groggily asked, becoming aware that he had soaked his shirt with sweat as well. 

“You were having a nightmare, you called out so I came to check on you but you were still asleep,” Dr. Gray said, Louis trying to process the information, his head feeling more than jammed up. 

“Yeah, I was,” Louis said, his thoughts clouding his mind as he sat up and rubbed at his eyes, the imagery stuck in his sight. 

“I was reliving Harry’s epidural, but it was all a bit worse,” Louis admitted, Dr. Gray touching his back. 

“You’re soaked,” he said, “I’m sorry it was so bad.” 

“It’s okay,” Louis said on a sigh, wishing he could just lay back down again. 

“Let’s get this off of you, no need to be sleeping while wet,” Dr. Gray said, Louis holding his arms up as his tshirt was pulled off of him. 

“Would you like anything to help?” Dr. Gray asked, Louis shaking his head ‘no’ as he laid back down. 

“Okay,” Dr. Gray whispered as he pulled up Louis’ blankets, catching the hint that Louis really just wanted to sleep. He left Louis with a touch on the shoulder, the door left ajar again. 

The only problem was that Louis couldn’t sleep. 

His eyes were closed but he was tossing and turning, his memory plaguing him with images and the sounds of Harry screaming and crying, haunting Louis in the dark. 

The light shifting in the room made him open his eyes and sit up on his elbow though, Dr. Gray coming back in with a little cup and a glass of water in his hands. 

“It’s been over half an hour, let’s get some proper sleep,” Dr. Gray whispered, Louis frowning as the little cup was held out to him. 

“It’s just a Benadryl, it’ll knock you out for the next four hours or so, I doubt Harry will be up at even eight, I’ve done the math,” Dr. Gray said, Louis properly sitting up and taking the cup, weighing his options before popping the pill in his mouth and taking a sip of water, swallowing it down. 

“Thanks,” Louis said, his voice groggy and slow. 

“It’s no problem, I can stay until it kicks in if you like,” Dr. Gray offered. 

“Yeah, okay, but I’m gunna lay that way,” Louis said, pointing away from Dr. Gray. 

“Of course, doesn’t bother me,” Dr. Gray said with a smile, holding the blankets as Louis got his cuddle pillow situated, laying down with his back to Dr. Gray. 

The feeling of a hand pressing to his back made him tense for a minute, but he eventually let himself slump into his pillows, the impromptu back massage a nice distraction from his thoughts. He felt the medication hit his system a while later, lulling him into a deep sleep, not even registering his covers being pulled over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment or come see my inspo while I’m writing or what I’m currently reading at soft-inspo.tumblr.com it’s a bit of a fun time to me 🤷🏼♀️


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